Some of us are inclined to believe in their ability to remember the details of childhood, and our experience in the same situations that we have with our own children tends to confirm this. Children have a tenuous sense of time and place, they are inclined to believe what they perceive of their world as being, and they tend to seem more childish in the face of parents who are genuinely concerned with their accomplishments.
The teenager tends to dominate the conversation at family gatherings by saying that he is “too old to participate in all of these family events” (see Jane Eyre, perhaps?) when he would not mind if he had more direct access to the goods of his land. He seems like a child who has not grown up when his parents are indulging him with privileges like those afforded to casino rewards vip members. The teenager appears to forget that his parents grew up without a family to support them in their aspirations. The teenager reminds me of a teenager at school who wants to control the program so that he can be the most popular kid in the school.
In today’s world parents are trying to teach their children how to survive in a world where their children have to compete against more people with greater accomplishments, and that the parents are not the most influential persons in their children’s lives. In a way, parents are trying to instil the notion of competition that has been instilled in children at a young age.
When teenagers are at odds with their parents, they are at odds with each other. The teenage boy is in a constant battle with the teenage girl and they are usually in a competition to determine who can get away with more. Teenagers usually never stop trying to prove their competence to the adults in their lives. They want to show that they have better skills to get things done, that they have more resources to accomplish tasks, and that they are better equipped to succeed in life. The child spends most of his time trying to prove to himself, and his parents, that he has an ability to do more and better things. The adolescent child constantly tries to prove that he is capable of everything that his parents have, and that he will be a good provider in the future.
Ultimately the teenager has to depend on his parents for survival, but he is not entirely dependent on them. He spends most of his time trying to prove that he has a greater ability and that he can do more than his parents. When he fails in one area of his life the child tends to blame his parents for not having enough resources to support him in the same way that his parents have been supportive in the past. Parents do try to instil good values in their children, but the root of parental values is being able to endure the trials and tribulations of being an adult.
The teenager tends to resent his parents when they limit his opportunities, but the child is never at peace with his parents.