Children are a lot stronger than we think they are, testimony to which is how they manage to cope with the rather confusing time of having to endure their parents going through a divorce. Okay, so perhaps there’s a big part of their instinct which is still pure and innocent, remembering the good over the bad from each of their parents who are now fighting amongst themselves and going all the way with making the split official.
Truth be told though, as impressionable as kids are, each and every one of them is an individual and these things have a different impact on each of them. Over my years as a facilitator I’ve naturally been in on some of the domestic situations of each of my learners, who have come to be my own kids as well, so I’ve witnesses quite the range of different reactions to the splitting up of their parents.
The complete meltdown
Some children naturally get hit harder than others by the divorce of their parents, with some of the most severe of these cases having the child go through a total meltdown. They can’t focus in class and they feel as if they just don’t have a reason to invest their emotions into anything, mostly as a result of having experienced first-hand how something they believed so deeply in could be reduced to a lovers’ quarrel that ends in a whole divorce.
This is when some intervention is most definitely required from the side of the educator and while the aim is never to try and completely remove the pain and suffering (because you can never really do that in any case), there are things you can do to try and help them navigate their pain and grab a handle on their functionality again. Unfortunately the meltdown could last a little bit too long for them to recover in time and perhaps avoid something like having to repeat the year, but the lesson which they’re going through is one which needs to be learned. After all, life is only presenting itself as it is.
The unaffected learner
It often amazes me how some learners whose parents are going through a divorce don’t seem to be bothered by it at all. They move on with their lives like nothing happened and you’d swear the likes of https://mymodernlaw.com/ was a non-entity in their lives, such is the unaffectedness of the learner.
This type of situation is always worth having a closer look at however since it could just be a matter of bottled up emotions.
The channelled focus
This is perhaps one of the best outcomes to be salvaged from a divorce and it’s quite a marvel watching children whose parents are going through a divorce find a way to channel the negativity and concentrate it into some razor-sharp focus.
It’s always a bit of a hit-or-miss with these things though and it’s just a matter of reading the child to see which of these categories their reaction to their parents’ divorce falls into.